Casey Deans
ENGL 218R Section 1
Emily Dyer
Why You Write
Writing is remembrance. When I write I take a piece of what I am now and freeze it. I am able to look back on this section of myself and remember what I was like. Writing also gives me the option of sharing myself with other people. This sharing might occur in the present or the future. Even when I am no longer alive I will still be remembered when people read my writing.
Best of all I am not forced to always be me. Writing is the best transformer. When I write I don't even have to be human, I can be a cat lying in the sun or the sun shining on the cat, or both. Risking exposure of my giant egotistical self delusions I would suggest that to write is to create and to create is divine. Of course the opposite could be argued that to write is to lie, because I am not a cat or a Solar entity.
Even in a digital age, writing is tangible. Writing does not filter itself through the strainer of ego. When I use my brain to remember the past I inevitably change things. I change what occurred to make myself better and the world worse and sometimes I do the opposite. This makes these memories solely my own and not judiciously credible. Writing does not completely solve this problem. Writing is also my own but it is less malleable. What I remember today about my childhood will be very different than what I remember about my childhood on my deathbed. When I write a story about my childhood then it is altered by my ego but only altered once. As soon as the ink dries it is done. This fortitude is the reason that the catch-phrase for the film The Ten Commandments is "So let it be written so let it be done." Saying to people, "So let it be remembered, so let it be done as though remembered it" would have had varied and tragic outcomes.
"I guess you had to be there," is a phrase often uttered to explain laughing at something that is presently not funny. The humor of the moment has long since passed and the event was not the type that could be retold. Humor is not the sole emotion that relies upon an eyewitness account. Listening to people as they explain the "cutest thing you've ever seen" or "I thought I was going to die" stories can often be difficult if you were not a participant or observer of the event they are describing. When I write a story I can quickly ascertain whether or not it is worth retelling. I can also change what occurred and tailor it so it is the most appealing to me and my audience.
In my opinion, the following statement is false: Non-fiction is truth. Truly, fiction is the only truth that exists in writing. Even manuals for blenders are wrought with inconsistencies and lies. By stepping into the imagination zone we can unburden ourselves from the rigidness of truth as we know it and truly be honest with ourselves and our readers. In my opinion this is the most fun thing about writing. Because writing is only bound by words and as humans we make up the words it is really limitless. The power of the pen is more powerful than the sword in this sense because the pen (or keyboard) is everything and anything I want it to be while the sword is a weapon or a plowshare.
Writing for me is a great tool to share myself with others and share myself with my future self. Writing is also a great way to draw closer to the creator, Heavenly Father, and glimpse at the awesome responsibility of creation. Writing is the purest form of truth because it does not disguise itself as anything but fiction. I write because it is fun.
Casey Deans
ENGL 215R Dyer
Object Essay
World on a String
One holds a yo-yo as one holds the top of a cane or a pre-dipped Oreo. Not like a baseball, or a flashlight, or a pocket watch but like something hot or sticky, something you want to drop. The yo-yo is not for grasping. It is for slinging, spinning, tugging, walking, and flying. Like a trapeze artist, it defies gravity, stuns audiences, and then, returns to its perch! The yo-yo is shaped like a scared turtle that has two shells and no underbelly. This overprotective shell houses a delicate string. This fragile spinal cord, this string, is offered to the owner with apprehension. Without the string a yo-yo is a decorative lump, and when it breaks it is dead and removed and discarded like its package tying brethren. The string is both invaluable and replaceable.
This yo-yo sits on the shelf next to mugs, pennants, buttons, t-shirts, and tote bags. It has been branded with a "Y" like everything else in this store. The yo-yo sits in line like an actor waiting to audition and like an actor the yo-yo knows that it will only have at most ten minutes to impress. More than likely the owner will become frustrated with this "toy" and put it next to his slinky, silly putty, Tamagotchi digital pet, Rubik's cube, and possibly another yo-yo. The owner will return to his Sony Playstation Portable and the yo-yo will wait with his "I told you so's" at the ready. It is waiting for the day when the battery dies, the screen cracks, or the Sony Playstation Portable becomes outdated or uncool. The yo-yo will gloat while it is in the company of the other toys and share with them its prestigious pedigree. The other toys will listen with admiration and some disbelief as it tells them that yo-yos are three thousand years old. The yo-yo will quietly object to being called a toy and insist on being called a marvel of physics. When asked why it will feign that the secrets of the universe are in its possession and that even Albert Einstein could not divulge the yo-yo's mysteries. Like a wealthy philanthropist the yo-yo will make some snide comment like, "At the end of the day though, I do it for the kids."
Deep down inside the yo-yo doesn't like children. Children's fickle attentions and the sticky candy shovels they call hands are despicable to the yo-yo. The yo-yo was played by knights and kings, physicists and astronauts. The yo-yo has been to space. This great mechanism falls to the ground only to spit in gravity's face and flee back to the hand without gas, motor, or exhaust fumes. The yo-yo doesn't contain lithium batteries or toxic chemicals. This yo-yo is an eco-warrior, a genius, an entertainer, and loyal friend. The yo-yo never runs away to your neighbor's back yard like its cousin, the novelty flying disc. The yo-yo never pops like the moronic sports balls who steal all the limelight. Yet, despite all these wonderful things the yo-yo is paradoxically nerdy and stupid, simple and confusing, snobbish and gauche. This yo-yo will do what its kind does best, wait and bide its time. It waits for its moment of glory when someone cares for it and learns it and uses it to entertain or explain science or both. Its kind has been waiting for thousands of years, storing up their potential energy anxious to release it onto the world.
Casey Deans
ENGL 215R Dyer
New Experience Essay
The Best Buy of My Life
Sky diving was a great experience and I will never forget what it feels like to jump out of an airplane. Of course, getting to the airport where this sky diving adventure began was also an experience I will never forget. I had never heard of "car-surfing" and was confused when I was offered the chance to try it. After the first 2 hours standing atop the cargo section of a semi-truck I realized that "car surfing" was exactly what you think it is and not as easy as it looks. Both "car-surfing" and sky-diving cost a lot of money and getting that money is not simple or easy. People may judge me harshly for robbing a bank but those people don't know the thrill of pointing a gun at someone, stuffing a burlap sack full of money, using cool terms like "dye-pack" and "stick up", and driving away so fast that the tires give off a plume of black smoke and a loud screeching sound. These new experiences taught me a lot about my limits, my capabilities, and my pain threshold. Most importantly however, I learned that I should never smoke crystal methamphetamine, not even once.
I didn't experience any of those crazy things. I lied because my experience was really dull. My real experience was buying a bluetooth keyboard. I have never used a laptop in class before and felt that bringing one would be more of a distraction than a useful tool. My delicate wrists tend to get sore if I use my hands for writing after about twenty minutes so I brought one to my English class with the hopes of using it to write during a writing exercise. This laptop was heavy, loud, large, and dirty. I did enjoy typing in class and decided that I needed a different way to type in class. My phone is capable of processing words but its virtual keyboard is not capable of handling my sausage digits when they flail about in a writing fury. I am often confused as to why my hands are fat and clumsy but my wrists delicate and frail. This odd combination requires that I type on a full size "qwerty" keyboard. "Qwerty" keyboards are keyboards that have the letters Q-W-E-R-T-Y located on the top left of the keyboard. I knew what I wanted and quested to get it.
All modern day quests began similarly to quests of the past, by seeking guidance. I visited the "internet" and researched my options. If you don't know what the "internet" is then I can tell you if you mail me your Social Security number and your banking information. My nerd pride was bruised when I realized that there are actually multiple nuances and factors to consider when buying a bluetooth device. Bluetooth comes in many types ranging from 1.0 to 3.0 and they all have different profiles attached to them such as AVRCP: Audio/Video Remote Control Profile, CTP: Cordless Telephony Profile, and OPP: Object Push Profile. I knew I was down with OPP but I did not know if my phone was. After hours of research I came to the conclusion that trial and error would be the most effective way of determining the best keyboard for me. To avoid the frustration machine that is returning products over the internet and the cost associated with it I came to the conclusion that I would have to go to Best Buy. I do not think that Best Buy is the best and I do not like to buy things there. I went to the store, which was a new experience for me, and recruited a clerk to assist me. The clerk allowed me to test out the connection of one of the store's demonstration keyboards to my phone. It worked and I bought it. The keyboard itself is fully functional, light weight, and clean. The only problem I have with it is that the experience of buying it and subsequently writing about it made me realize that I need to get out and experience things that are more exciting.
Casey Deans
ENGL 215R Dyer
Segmented Essay Exercise # 3
In My Sights
I. "Quality instruction is the foundation for practical application of the marksmanship fundamentals during range and field firing." - Rifle Marksmanship Marine Corps Manual 3-01A
You showed up to General Priesthood meeting thirty minutes early and you still couldn't get a seat in the comfy pews. The hard chair will keep you awake as you receive instruction and enlightenment. President Monson says, "Now, I have thought a lot lately about you young men who are of an age to marry but who have not yet felt to do so." You almost make the Scooby-Doo sound as your head perks up and you utter, "Ruh-roh." Your Dad gives you a nudge to confirm that you are paying attention. The President of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints stares right at you and you almost hear your name as he eloquently instructs you to get off your butt and start dating more.
II. "In a combat environment, the Marine must be constantly prepared for possible target engagement" - Rifle Marksmanship Marine Corps Manual 3-01A
Sweatpants. Comfortable non-judgmental sweatpants are what you wear when no one is looking and you are looking for no one. Taking them off, showering, shaving, brushing, and combing are all necessary physical preparations one must make in the few moments before entering a social setting. The one day you choose to prepare might be the one day you miss out on your engagement.
III. "The Marine must be constantly aware of the surroundings to include the terrain, available cover, possible areas of enemy contact, backdrop of the target, etc. This awareness will enable the Marine to select and assume a firing position and to quickly and accurately engage targets." - Rifle Marksmanship Marine Corps Manual 3-01A
Church: a great place to meet women. People tell you how they met their wife or husband at FHE, YSA, hiking the Y, dancing at UVU, and studying at the JFSB. The rest of the world is getting down with OPP and avoiding HIV and STD's. Is this blending the weirdest or the coolest?
IV. "The unique demands of combat (i.e., stress, uncertainty) dictate that the Marine be both physically and mentally prepared to engage enemy targets. It will not be enough to simply know marksmanship techniques and procedures." Rifle Marksmanship Marine Corps Manual 3-01A
Meet a stranger, ask them for an open audition, perform honestly and excellently, and evaluate them to co-star with you on the stage of life for eternity. Be serious but have fun. Relax and enjoy yourself while pushing yourself out of your comfort zone. You know the steps, you've seen the movies, and you know it is happening every day to millions of other people. You are so close that you can almost taste the chicken salad filled croissant that will be served at your wedding reception. You swallow your stress and imagine you are a much braver person and you walk towards your target.
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